I dream, I dream a lot, extremely vivid dreams, wake up in a cold sweat type stuff. I don’t know why it happens, it could be one of the medications I take. Anyway, it doesn’t matter why I dream, I just do. So I had a drug dream, I do every so often, they can be particularly uncomfortable. There is so much detail, textures especially, I dream I can touch the drugs, I can feel the packet that the syringe is in, how the little bags feel as you close them after taking out your next hit.
There is usually one common thing that runs through these dreams, I always have to convince myself to use. Theres a whole process I go through in the dream, I persuade myself that once is okay, that I can do it just the once and then I’ll stop. You see that’s the biggest con about these dreams, because I know very well that once wouldn’t be enough, and it would turn from one to two, to four, six and onto to crystal meth dominating my entire life, my life would spiral out of control. I’m pretty sure that had I not stopped when I did, or if I started again now, I would either end up in prison, or even more likely – dead.
So I may dream every so often about slamming, sometimes I think about when I’m awake as well, I’m an addict and that makes me want it, but I don’t give in, I don’t let it win, and you dear reader can do the same with your addiction.