I’m not doing so well, I’ve been great all weekend. Weekends are always bad for me, my brain goes into overdrive, but this time it’s been good. But now it’s not, I’ve crashed down thinking about something.
Up until a few months back my coping mechanism was meth, meth takes away the shit in my head, or at least it did. As my problems got worse last year, meth became my enemy instead of my relief. My breakdown wasn’t caused by the drugs, other things happened which caused that, but meth stopped helping.
When you have shit in your life and you take meth it starts to have the opposite effect of what you want. I’m struggling to find the words to explain and I shall write more another day, but know this, sticking a needle in your arm isn’t hot, it’s not sexy, it doesn’t make things better.
I’m sorry I can’t write more now, I’ve just taken a zopiclone and I know it will make me sleep pretty soon, hopefully. I need to sleep tonight without the nightmares