I’m sat on the sofa, doing my painting. Calming music for dogs is playing to try and help Ralph through the fireworks. Continue reading “Right now in this moment”
Ralph (our dog) has a terrible fear of fireworks. We use the TV to mask the sound, and distraction to keep him from noticing them, sometimes it works but sometimes not.
As I write this I’m laying in bed, Ralph isn’t on the bed beside me, nor is he in the living room with B. Normally by now he’d be lying under the duvet, pressed tight against me – no lectures about dogs in beds please, without him I wouldn’t be here – but tonight he’s on the floor beside the bed, just staring out the door, staring at nothing.
We’ve done really well this bonfire night season, living in a small village we don’t get an awful lot of fireworks, and those there have been passed by pretty much unnoticed. But then there we just a few bangs and now there he is, he doesn’t even know what he’s afraid of….but then neither do I.
Is my sense of impending catastrophe irrational?, well I guess it may be, but no more so than Ralph’s fear of those loud noises, and lets be honest, fireworks are actually bloody dangerous things.
I’m sliding, downwards.
I can feel it, it’s been bubbling somewhere down inside me for a while now. It’s not drugs, neither the cause nor the solution, I know drugs won’t make me feel better, who am I kidding, a shot of meth would make me feel fantastic but then I’d definitely slide right back where I was. Continue reading “Sliding”
So what to write about today ? Well nothing really, I just want to write, just because I can. Today is just another day, it’s nothing special, there are no dramas, no highs or lows, it’s just another day, just another Monday.Continue reading “Writing just because I can”
Well is it ? I have no fucking idea, but I do know it can be good for the heart, mind and soul. Continue reading “If music be the food of love”
Not much to say to be honest, I just want to write something. I’m home alone, doesn’t happen often these days but sometimes it does. Continue reading “Nothing to say really”
I didn’t go to the group last night, I’ve been working too much this week so was really tired and I’ve not seen B much this week, so needed to stay home. I absolutely hated not being there, I missed them. Continue reading “The group….my friends”
Been playing with an idea over the past few days. I’d really like to start a page on here for guest writers. I could take contributions from anyone who has had addiction issues. Continue reading “Guest writers”
I’m working on this website, thinking lots about how it might hopefully help someone, thinking about how I can get people to look at it. Then it suddenly struck me, my face is all over it, it’s on every page, do I want people to know who I am ? I’m really not sure I do, fine if nobody I know looks at it then it won’t matter, but what if someone I work with, or a friend looks at the site ?Read more……..
Am trying to work out how to add a link for people to follow my blog on my new website. Also can work out if people who were following me have moved over to this address or not…..
All very frustrating but I guess I’ll get there