So tomorrow is Thursday and Thursday is support group day, why is this significant ?, because I’ve missed it for the last three weeks. Probably doesn’t sound like much, but to me it’s important.
It’s strange, normally if I miss a week I hate it, I miss the people, I miss the release of being able to share my thoughts with them for a few minutes, this time has not been the same. You see, I’ve been cutting myself off from everyone, so not going to the group has fitted in with that very nicely, it’s suited my need to not see people, tomorrow that must change.
I really don’t want to go there and be down and miserable, I’m afraid that people will begin to dread me opening my mouth, that it will just be the usual moaning me. But how can I be cheery when I know inside that my mind is not in a good place, I just don’t want to be that person who always brings misery. They will all say the right things, tell me how we support each other, but these last weeks I’ve not supported them, I’ve not “been there” for anyone, I’ve been too locked up in my own depression.
There is something I’ve been doing quite well lately, taking each day at a time. I leave the house for work every morning and tell myself to just get through that day, I sit at my desk and tell myself I’m getting through the day, I get home and tell myself I got through the day. I guess I’m learning everything is just one step at a time, just take each day on it’s own, tomorrow will be the same.
Tomorrow will be Thursday, it’s just one more day.